Norm: The Untold Story
by Spongey444
Summary: Norm was always a strange enigma to everyone. People always thought he was strange. But no one knew just how strange he really is...
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note: **hey look, it's a Phineas and ferb story by me with no Irving in it! So anyway, this is an idea I've had for a long time. You'll see what the core idea was much later. But for now, enjoy!

**Norm: The Untold Story**

**Written by Spongey444**

**Phineas and Ferb belongs to Disney, and was created by Dan Povenmire and Jeff "Swampy" Marsh.**

**/**

***17 years Ago***

It was a sunny day in the town of Danville. The sun was bright, the air was sweet, and hobos were begging for change. Silly hobos. It was a nice summer day, for the most part. Everyone was happy. But there was no one in the city happier than a man, known as …Heinz Doofenshmirtz.

He was driving in his car. As opposed to driving…in a pumpkin. It's a common practice, pumpkin driving. Doofenshmirtz was dressed in his best tux, which was made of the finest drusselsteinan goat hair. He had the biggest smile in his face.

**Doofenshmirtz: **oh, I can't believe it! After all these years, I will finally find happiness. Ever since birth, nothing has gone right for me. Awful dad, rancid mom, goody two shoes brother, and I don't even want to remember that stupid dog! My life has been dreadful, but finally i found something good! And today my life will officially be decent! …boy I talk to myself a lot.

Doof arrived at his dentition, the chapel.

**Doofenshmirtz**: i 'm a tiny bit late, so I can make my dramatic entrance! Oh boy, my moment has finally come! Yay.

Doof dramatically opening the doors to the chapel. All his closest relatives, friends, and even some enemies were all there for the big day. They all turned around when they saw Doof enter the room.

**Doofenshmirtz: **I'm here!

**Mrs. Doofenshmirtz: **roger wouldn't make a dramatic entrance like that!

**Mr Doofenshmirtz: **Can you leave the kid alone? It's his wedding day!

**Doofenshmirtz: **Thank you, father! ….wow, I never thought I'd say that.

**Priest: **oh, there you are Heinz. Come on up!

**Doofenshmirtz: **okay, but where's-

He suddenly saw the arm of his bride hooking under his.

**Charlene: **I'm right here, Heinz.

**Doofenshmirtz: **ah, thanks! Let's do this thing.

They slowly walked up to the front, while all the normal wedding stuff also happened.

**Priest: **I was payed a handsome amount of money to skip my boring speech, so we'll cut to the chase. Do you have any words to exchange?

**Doofenshmirtz: **I do! Charlene, all my life I've been treated like dirt. You know the backstories by now. Parents hated me. My brother was treated better, and I was a lawn gnome. But I finally found a woman who actually liked me, for my personality. And now here I am, sealing my fate with her. I'll skip the mushy stop, but I will say that…I feel very warmly towards you. Oh, and also, I love you.

**Charlene: **…I think he said enough for both of us. Thanks, Heinz

**Preist; **so to sum it up, do you guys take each other to your lawfully wedded partners, and such?

**Both: **I do!

They kissed.

**Everyone: **yaaaay!

**Roger: **you go, Heinz!

**Mrs. Doofenshmirtz: **I almost think you are worthy of being a Doofenshmirtz…almost.

**Doofenshmirtz: **oh, this is great! Finally, I have a wonderful wife. My life is complete! Oh, this is perfect!

***MANY YEARS LATER***

**Judge: **the divorce is final!

**Doofenshmirtrz: **oh come on!

**Charlene: **Sorry, Heinz. We just want different things.

**Doofenshmirtz: **oh, you mean like how I want happiness and you don't want me to be happy?

**Charlene:** it's not that!

**Doofenshmirtz: **we've argued over this for the last few days, you can't justify this!

**Charlene: **it's like I said before, I don't hate you or anything. This isn't a bad sitcom, for pete's sake!

**Doofenshmirtz: **only someone who hates me would get my hopes up, and dash them in the span of a few years!

**Charlene: **see, there you go again, thinking everyone is out to get you!

**Doofenshmirtz: **only because everyone is! Throughout my entire life!

**Charlene: **Heinz, you have to realize that your horrific backstories can't justify anything.

**Doofenshmirtz: **hey, it's been working for years, why stop now?

**Charlene: **it's been failing!

**Doofenshmirtz: **come on Charlene, we can work this out!

**Charlene: **that's what you said a month ago, yet here we are!

**Doofenshmirtz: **this isn't going to be good on Vannesa!

**Charlene: **she'll be fine, what's the worst that can happen?

**Doofenshmirtz: **oh, shut it! That's all I can take of you. I'm heading out! …but I get Vannesa on weekends, right?

**Charlene: **that's correct.

**Doofenshmirtz: **good!

Doof stormed out of the place and ran outside.

**Doofenshmirtz: **stupid Charlene! Stupid life! This could not get worse..

Then, it started to rain really hard.

**Doofenshmirtz: **why does it always rain when it's dramatic?

Everyone started at him, as they saw what had unfurled for him.

**Man: **wow, we respected this guy?

**Woman: **what a loser!

**Mr Doofenshmirtz: **and to think I called you my son!

**Doofenshmirtz: **mom, dad, get out?

**Mrs. Doofenshmirtz: **This is why roger will always be better than you!

**Roger: **uh, mom I don't think-

**Mrs. Doofenshmirtz: **let's go roger!

**Roger: **uh…fine. Heinz, i-

**Mr. Doofenshmirtz: **come on! I bet you have better things to do than talk to your brother.

Everyone left.

**Doofenshmirtz: **…but i…almost had it. No. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! THAT'S IT, I'VE HAD IT! My life has been a living hell! My parents hated me. My dad liked the dog better, my mom liked my brother roger! I had to be lawn gnome! I had to wear dresses. I was raised by ocelots! My life was a spiral of horrible events, even after I came to America! And when a found a wonderful girl who loved me, just when my life was getting good, she divorces me! Can't I ever be given a break? Ever! Well, I'VE HAD IT! For years I've dabble in the art of evil quite a bit. Just as a backup. well, it's time to break out! So Tri state area, you're going to dump on me?

**Doofenshmirtz: **Well, dump no more! Instead, I will take out my sweet revenge! Say goodbye to friendly ol' Heinz Doofenshmirtz! And say hello, to the Evil DR HEINZ DOOFENSHMIRTZ! Mwhahahahahaha!

**End of Chapter one**

**AN: **What does this have to do with norm? calm down, you'll find out next time!


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note: **okay, there's norm in this one. Well…sort of. Enjoy!

**Chapter 2**

**/**

***Years later***

**Jingle Singers: **_Doofenshmirtz meanish company!_

**Doofenshmirtz: **eh, I'm still not feeling it.

**Jingle Singer #1: **this is the 5th one we've tried!

**Jingle Singer #2: **can you just choose one!

**Doofenshmirtz: **Sorry! we just need something…catchier.

**Jingle Singer #3: **maybe we should incorporate something better.

**Doofenshmirtz: **Incorporate..that's it!

Doof wrote something down and handed it to the jingle signers

**All: **we can work with this

**Jingle Singers: **_Doofenshmirtz Evil Inco prated!_

**Doofenshmirtz: **perfect! So after a couple years, my evil is getting good! Got a company, jingle singers, and a lab coat! There's just something missing…something special…a robot assistant!

**Jingle Singer #1: **really?

**Doofenshmirtz: **nah, I kid. I don't need any help at all! Instead, I'm going to go take my picture taken. Bye!

**Jingle Singers: **bye!

**Jingle Singer #2:**I wonder if he really will build a robot

***A year Later***

**Doofenshmirtz: **well that plan was a failure. Now to plan my next one! But what to do? I have no backstory for now, and I;m out of real inator ideas. They're not too good anyway. I just use stuff like bombs, or gas, or an automatic tennis ball machine. What was I even thinking with that one?

**Doofenshmirtz: **I mean seriously, Perry the platypus is such a hard nut to crack! No matter what I use, nothing seems to stop him! What will it take? What stops platypuses? ..or is it platypi? Platypeople? Whatever.

**Doofenshmirtz: **hmm..that's it! What is the enemy of the platypus? No one knows! …but maybe the internet does!

Doof walked over to his computer

**Doofenshmirtz: **okay, I;'ll look this ip. "what is the enemy of the platypus?". Okay..oh, there's a movie!

He watched it

**Doofenshmirtz: **the enemy of the platypus…is man? Oh, that's perfect! But what do I do what that? Create a man? Well I'd need a woman and years of paticence for that…so, 'I'll make a ROBOT man! It's perfect! Now to make it,..

***an hour later***

**Doofenshmirtz: **okay, the head is finished, at least. Hey, he can talk at least! What should I call you?

**Head:** Anything better than Doof. Seriously. Heck, anything normal!

**Doofenshmirtz**: normal. NORM**! **perfect

**Sarcastic Norm: **brilliant.

**Doofenshmirtz: **okay Norm, you have been installed with complete memories of me and what I do. Any comments?

**Sarcastic Norm: **yes, have you made anything that hasn't blown up?

**Doofenshmirtz: **have YOU?

**Sarcastic Norm: **oh, that old comeback. How clever.

**Doofenshmirtz: **look, please be quiet so I can make your body. Then you stop perry the platypus!

**Sarcastic Norm: **the sooner he is stopped, the sooner you get a life

**Doofenshmirtz: **You're starting to be a problem.

**Sarcastic Norm: **Cool story bro

**Doofenshmirtz: **stop that!

**Sarcastic Norm: **stop that.

**Doofenshmirtz: **stop copying me!

**Sarcastic Norm: **fine. That gag is lame anyway

**Doofenshmirtz: **I'm starting to regret you

**Sarcastic Norm: **this isn't the time to be quoting your mom!

**Doofenshmirtz: **You're ugly!

**Sarcastic Norm: **oh, you're using only the finest kindergarten insults for this argument!

**Doofenshmirtz: ** I hate you

**Sarcastic Norm: **aww, I hate you too!

**Doofenshmirtz: **does I have to turn you off?

**Sarcastic Norm: **I thought you only turned off women!

**Doofenshmirtz: **okay, that's it. You're going in storage!

**Sarcastic Norm: **oh come on Doof, I was going to talk about yourself personality next! Maybe we can bump it up to a C minus!

**Doofenshmirtz: **I'm used to hearing that grade.

**Sarcastic Norm: **I bet.

**Doofenshmirtz: **okay, off you go.

Doof picked up Sarcastic Norm's head and turned him off

**Doofenshmirtz: **You are going in the basement! Sigh, it's back to the drawing board..

**End of Chapter 2**

**Author's Note: **Short chapter, but I needed my big scene to be in chapter 3. Yes, this part was an excuse to write for Sarcastic Norm, so there. Tune in next time for another chapter! May be the last, but we'll see.


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note**: Time to finally see the REAL norm..

**Chapter 3**

**/**

A normal Man, most likely around 40, was walking through Danville. He was whistling while he walked. He was perfectly happy.

**Man: **it sure is a good day. The sky is shining, the birds are singing, and the sun is bright. The best day in weeks!

The man spotted a bum holding a cup

**Bum: **CHANGE? YA GOT CHANGE?

**Man: **of course. Here you go

He dropped a few quarters in the bum's cup

**Bum: **HORRAY! NOW I CAN GO SEE STEP UP 4 ,THE GREATEST MOVIE I'LL EVER SEE IN MY LIFE! You sure are nice!

**Man: **yes. Yes I am. But don't shower me in praise, I'm not perfect

**Bum: **…I don't care. BYE!

**Man: **what a nice bum. What a good world this is. I have a decent home, and I even got along with all my relatives. Why do I narrate like this? Ah well.

The man kept strolling along

**Man: **though…I don't have a job. I've been jobless for a few weeks! I should get one so I keep myself a float. But should I do?

He suddenly noticed the building in front of him..

**Man: **Doofenshmritz Evil Incorporated? Probably some sort of novelty shop. I should check it out~

He stopped up to the doorman.

**Doorman: **just two more years until the pension ki-

**Man: **excuse me?

**Doorman: **oh hello. What are you here?

**Man: **I'd like to check the place out.

**Doorman: **feel free. Dr Doofenshmirtz probably doesn't mind.

**Man: **thanks! Oh, I forgot to introduce myself.

**Doorman: **I don't really care. But do it anyway

**Man: **My name is norm!

/

**Doofenshmirtz: **okay, how can I make a robot? I guess I could use that robot-inattor I made but never used. I think I will!

A few minutes later, Doof had pulled out the big Robot-inator from his closest.

**Doofenshmirtz: **with this I can just create a robot out of another object! ..no wait, that's a horrible idea. It won't obey me right away, and I don't have time to implant any loyalty chip. Darn, and I got it out and everything

**Doofenshmirtz: **I'll just go for a walk. Maybe I'll get some ideas then.

Doof walked to the door, but ended up tripping on the cord of the inator

**Doofenshmirtz: D'oh! **Note to self: never use plugs for inators again.

In anger, Doof kicked the machine, and stormed out. Suddnly, this made the machine fire several blasts all over the place

**Doofenshmirtz: **what was that noise? I'm sure it's nothing. I think I'll tie my shoes so I won't trip again.

Doof stepped over to the side and bended over to tie his does .

While he was looking away, Norm the man walked up to the door.

**Norm: **anyone here?

**Doofenshmirtz: **oh, another human being! Those never come here!

Norm the man upended the door.. Sadly for him, the inator was still firing radomlu as he opened he door..

**Norm: **AHHHH!

Suddenly, his skin started to harden. He felt his body stiffen. He felt all emotion drain from his body. All of his memories started to get foggy. His mouth started to feel cold

He had turned into a robot.

**Norm: **my name,..is norm

**Doofenshmirtz: **what the-oh look a robot! Someone must have left it here! perhaps I should find out who he belongs to…nah. Finders keepers!

He bent down to pick up the robot man

**Doofenshmirtz **do you have a name?

**Norm: **my name is norm!

**Doofenshmirtz: **hmm...okay then. You'll do perfect! But first I have to wipe your little robot mind clean. You know, clear any bugs you may have

He dragged Norm into the room

**Doofenshmirtz: **okay, I happen to have a mind wipe-inator in my pocket. It will wipe your mind, and put it into a memory disc, which I will store for safe keeping.

He pulled out the Mind-wipe inator and zapped Norm with it.

**Doofenshmirtz: **how do you feel norm?

**Norm: **we should do lunch sometime!

**Doofenshmirtz: **hmmm, you must be in dream husband mode or something. Ah well, it's fine.

Doof walked up to norm and pulled out the disc which had just popped out of him./

**Doofenshmirtz: **okay, you should be just fine. Come on Norm. we have a movie to catch!

Suddenly, Doof spooted something in Norm's robot pocket

**Doofenshmirtz: **oh, what is this? ***pulls it out* **oh it's your wallet! Didn't know robots had one. Let's see…100 bucks, keeping that, various credit cards, picture of some kid, seems normal.

Doof ditched the rest of the wallet, in favor of the money

**Doofenshmirtz: **Norm,. this could be the start of an interesting…Acquaintance-ship!

Norm bent down and looked at the picture that had fallen from his wallet

**Doofenshmirtz: **Stop looking at that thing and let's go!

He stared at it,. He saw a boy there. He couldn't remember who it is. Norm's son? Nah. He noticed it had a caption.

**Norm: **…Phineas.

Norm didn't remember the name. He shrugged and followed Doof to the old abanded theatre.

***months later***

**Doofenshmirtz: **Oh I can't believe that she went vague that I-I mean, it sure would be nice to have a son in addition. You know, someone to have a nice game of catch with, but-  
**Norm:** Sir, you can have a game of catch with me! I've always thought of you as my fa—

**Doofenshmirtz:** Norm, you're in my light!

**Norm:** -Ther.

Norm sulked over to the closest where he usually slept.

**Norm: **I wish I had a father.

Norm couldn't remember anything from before Doof made him. Heinz was his creator. He looked up to hm. Sure, doof wasn't the best father, but norm liked him anyway. He was the only person he felt a true connection to.

But somehow he felt like he was more than just a robot. He wished he was. Sometimes he felt like his robotic life was all a lie. But that was just silly.

**Norm: **I wish I was…a real boy.

**The End**

**Author's Note: **I think that was the heaviest thing I ever wrote. Anyway, I bet no one saw that final twist coming! Yeah, this whole story was to help with my theory about norm. Yep. Hope you enjoyed it. Also, I'd like to mention that I felt I should have done a different opening for the fic. I like how it went but…it had little connection to the plot. Ah well

I have plans for a sequel, which will offer a bit of closure for Norm. look out for it!


End file.
